What are the pros and cons of two under two?
In any life decision, there are upsides and downsides of that decision. I like to view life with two under two as less about the pros and cons of two under two, and more about positives and challenges. I also like to remind anyone reading this that PARENTING comes with challenges. No matter if you have one child or ten, you are going to be tested in different ways.
This blog post though is all about the pros and cons of two under two and having them close together!
Let’s get right into it!
table of Contents
Pros of 2 Under 2
BUILT-IN FRIEND. One of the major pros of having two kids close together in age is that they will be able to play together. They will learn and help each other grow. When you are an only child, your playmates often end up being your parents or your imagination (which there’s nothing wrong with).
It’s a bonus that they will be able to play together, support each other in difficult moments, and share wonderful moments/memories together. Your firstborn won’t remember what it was like when it was just him or her before their sibling arrived. The secondborn only knows sibling dynamics!
ALREADY IN THE MODE. As a parent, you will already be in diaper mode. In fact, everything your first child went through you remember vividly. This allows you to adapt quickly and make changes for your second child.
Things like breastfeeding or formula feeding, diaper changes, holding a baby with confidence, etc. will all come naturally to you because you did it so recently or are still doing it now. This will make navigating some of the challenges that may arise easier. You now know how to handle a baby who doesn’t want a diaper change!
THEIR BOND. By far the biggest pro is their sibling bond. As a mom watching my two babies interact and engage with each other is beautiful to see. I see them playing, laughing, and even caring for one another. They both try to help calm each other down when one is crying and my oldest is still under 3 years old.
This is what makes you love having them close together. You honestly can’t imagine life any different because of their bond. The baby years fly by once the second baby is here so soak in what you can. Take tons of videos and pictures because it goes by way too fast.
SYCHRONIZED SCHEDULES. Having them under 2 years apart will lead to having their schedules match well, especially once they both sleep through the night. It’s nice to know that they both are going to bed at the same time which means you get to have your time at night to relax. This may not work every night, but once their sleep routine is set, it is a nice bonus.
EFFICIENT USE OF GEAR. The rising cost of baby gear will make you thankful that you had them close together. You will get plenty of use out of the crib, bassinet, stroller, baby carriers, and more! It is nice knowing that the money you spent on these items more than covered their worth. Also, even with things your first child didn’t play with the second one likely will.
SHARED MILESTONES. I love that they get to learn and grow so close together. My children being only 20 months apart means that right now my oldest can encourage her to walk, talk, and play. Even though she has yet to say her first word, he’s constantly asking her to talk. For example, he will say, “Harper, can you say MA MA?” “Harper, can you say DA DA?”
We encourage this often after realizing that she learned to growl like a lion because of how often he was making the sound. We know her language will progress due to his encouragement. As they get older, she will be able to teach him as well whether it’s through sports, academics, or even doing something that might scare him more than her.
IMPROVED SOCIAL SKILLS. Your children will learn to engage, manage challenges, and communicate appropriately due to being around each other. Of course, this may mean that they have more arguments, conflicts, and jealousy but this also means they learn at a young age how to navigate difficult situations and emotions. I believe this will help with their social skills and their emotional IQ.
ENERGY IN FAMILY DYNAMICS. There’s never a dull moment when you have two under two! There is something always going on whether it’s laughter, joy, tears, or frustration. There are big emotions and that energy is infectious in the home. It will keep you busy, but it will also revitalize you in ways you didn’t expect to happen.
Which pro resonates with you the most?
I have no regrets when it comes to the having two under two. If you still are wondering if this is a good decision for you then read our blog, Is 2 under 2 a good idea? Why It’s Absolutely Worth it! There are no doubts in my mind that the frustrations and difficulties will be outweighed by love and joy.
Cons of Two Kids Under Two
INTENSE EARLY STAGES. This will vary on what this means for each family unit, but it’s demanding trying to manage nighttime feedings, diaper changes, potty training, and sleepless nights all around the same time.
You may feel like once you get one child set the other starts to struggle with something. This can lead to a higher level of frustration.
AMPLIFIED EXPENSES. This can be tough especially with daycare costs, diapers, and if you are formula feeding. As they get older, things like sports costs, driving, and college will all be around a similar time could be a heavy burden on the family’s finances.
SUPPORT CHALLENGES. Parents can feel that getting family or friends to look after their kids can be challenging since the children are so close in age. It is much more mentally, emotionally, and physically taxing to entertain children 14 months apart than it would be to watch a 5 year old a 6 month old.
You may also feel that finding a good babysitter who can handle children close together might be harder to find or just more expensive.
HIGHER STRESS LEVELS. You have twice the tears, cries, and difficulties when you have another child who may only be 17 months from the first child. This can lead to higher stress as you work to manage meeting both children’s wants and needs. Also, a baby and a toddler might not always get along. There are parents who feel their toddler really struggles with jealousy issues which will lead to more stress as you would need to watch them interacting even more.
DIVIDED ATTENTION. This is by far the most common concern is how you help them when they both want you in that moment. This will increase anyone’s stress level. Most parents focus on need versus wants, distraction techniques, and sometimes one child will just cry. This is such a stark change from having one child or children with a bigger age gap.
OUTING LOGISTICS. Going out with one kid seems like a breeze compared to two under two. It’s just harder packing the diaper bag, navigating their needs, and getting them in the stroller or wagon. Being outnumbered which kids being around the same development makes it harder. This is why it feels like such a major win if you have a successful errand run or even going to the park without someone with you. Celebrate those wins!
LIMITED PERSONAL TIME. Having children back to back feels like “you time” is non-existent. You may get one child down for a nap and the other is waking. When they are both up and moving then one is asking for something whether it’s to be picked up, read to, played with, or fed. It can feel like time alone is rare which can impact mental health and wellness.
Do you agree with these cons?
Pros and Cons of Two Under Two
Here is a quick reference of the pros and cons of two under two that we discussed above. The pros definitely outweigh the cons! Not just number-wise, but in the beautiful journey you build as a family.
| Pros of Two Under Two | Cons of Two Under Two |
|---|---|
| Built-In Friend | Intense Early Stages |
| Having two kids close in age means they can play together, support each other, and share memorable experiences. This companionship is invaluable. | Managing nighttime feedings, diaper changes, potty training, and sleepless nights simultaneously can be extremely demanding. |
| Already in the Mode | Amplified Expenses |
| Being in “baby mode” already, you’re more adept at handling newborn challenges, making transitions smoother with the second child. | Costs for childcare, diapers, and potentially formula feeding can add up quickly, especially when planned activities like sports or college loom on the horizon. |
| Their Bond | Support Challenges |
| Watching the sibling bond develop early is rewarding. Young siblings often form a deep connection that lasts a lifetime. | Finding friends or family willing to babysit two young children close in age can be difficult due to the increased demands. |
| Synchronized Schedules | Higher Stress Levels |
| Having similar schedules for sleeping and feeding can eventually simplify routine management. | The stress of balancing the needs and wants of two young children can be significant, especially if the older child struggles with jealousy. |
| Efficient Use of Gear | Divided Attention |
| Baby gear like cribs and strollers gets maximum use, offering better value for money spent. | Balancing immediate needs can be stressful when both children require attention at the same time. |
| Shared Milestones | Outing Logistics |
| Close age gaps allow siblings to experience and celebrate developmental milestones together, enhancing encouragement and shared growth. | Managing outings with two young children can be a logistical challenge, making simple errands feel like major undertakings. |
| Improved Social Skills | Limited Personal Time |
| Siblings close in age learn vital social skills like sharing and communication earlier, which can aid their emotional development. | Personal time for self-care can drastically reduce with two under two, impacting parental mental health and wellness. |
| Energy in Family Dynamics | |
| The dynamic energy of having two young children keeps the household lively and can bring immense joy and activity into everyday life. |
Parting Thoughts
Navigating life with two under two is a journey filled with challenges and rewards. While it demands much from parents—physically, emotionally, and financially—it also offers opportunities for building deep bonds and witnessing beautiful sibling moments from the earliest days. Every challenging phase doesn’t last forever, and the joys are what last a lifetime. Embrace the chaos, seek support when needed, and cherish the small wins. With patience and love, you’ll find that having two under two isn’t just manageable—it’s an enriching adventure.
What would you say are the pros and cons of two under two? We would love to hear your thoughts and experiences of having two little ones close together! Feel free to share them with us below or email us at info@harpson.co.
If you want to read other people’s opinions and thoughts of the pros and cons of two under two then read this Reddit post. This may help you as well in deciding what is best for you!
