Life with Two Kids Under Two: Revealing the Daily Joy & Chaos

Best Way to Get through Morning Madness

Navigating through the morning can feel like sometimes walking a tightrope of emotions.  You aren’t sure how everyone will wake up (including yourself here).  Knowing this information, I try to stick to a similar routine every day.  I found that the more we stick to the routine the fewer meltdowns our baby and toddler have in the mornings.  You will probably get tired of me mentioning ROUTINE, ROUTINE, ROUTINE, but it makes life easier.  Going from one kid to two, you aren’t a new parent so it is even easier to get into a nice routine early on.  Of course, you will adjust as your two children hit different milestones, but it will be small tweaks.  

Waking Up with Two Under Two

When waking up with two children under two, I have found that I need to be awake before they are for my mental health and self-care.  I wake up around 5 am every morning and give myself one hour to do what I want before they are up around 6 am (sometimes earlier).  I know if I am showered and dressed this makes a world of difference. 

My son normally wakes up first.  We have a hatch that he used to follow, but now he opens his door and waits for us to come get him.  He sometimes will open the door and then shut it if he thinks we are still asleep! You may be wondering why he doesn’t just come to your room.  Well, you can read my blog post on 2 year old sleep regression to find out more there! 

Morning Routine

Our toddler and baby’s morning routine looks like this:

• Going to the bathroom to get clean and dressed.
• Wake up his sister and tell her good morning!
• Husband gets daughter dressed and ready.
• Go downstairs and both are given milk.
• Play or read books until breakfast is made.

Fortunately for us, we are both home in the mornings so we do a lot of divide and conquer.  I usually get our son dressed and ready while my husband usually gets our daughter ready.  My husband cooks breakfast while I spend time entertaining the kids. We then all eat breakfast together and then it’s more play until we get ready to leave for the day. 

When our daughter was a newborn/infant the schedule was pretty similar except we would have her sit in a rocker or the travel bassinet.  Babies sleep so much that it makes it easy to have your normal morning routine.  The hard part was navigating sleep deprivation due to the nighttime feedings, but that’s the same with just one child.

Activities and Entertainment with Two Kids

Our children go to daycare during the day, but if yours don’t, you can still build a schedule that works.  During the weekend, we try to go out and do something at the beginning of the day.  Their moods are better before they have an afternoon nap. 

It is more important to keep our toddler occupied as it cuts down on temper tantrums.  This means we try to leave the house at least once with them.  This might sound like more to juggle, but if you have taken your toddler out you probably have found that it’s easier for them to get their energy out when you get out of the house.  It also leads to less no don’t do that or stop that language that makes parenting feel draining. 

Take Advantage of Memberships for Your Baby and Toddler

Once we had two we decided to sign up for memberships near us that would save us money. A zoo membership has always been worth every penny for us, and we truly love it! We also had a membership to the local children’s museum.  Just make sure to calculate how many times a year you need to go justify the cost.  We chose to discontinue it due to our children’s temperaments.  Our older child was having transition issues at one of them.  He wanted to take the dinosaurs home and we realized the meltdowns weren’t worth it!  Parenting two is embracing things that recharge you and your family. Don’t waste your energy on things that don’t seem effective!

Parks, Libraries, Playdates, and More!

When the weather is nice we embrace going to parks.  Parks are wonderful! We vary the type of parks we go to and what activities we do while there.  Sometimes we will go to a park where we just walk our little ones.  Other times, we will go to a park where they can play.  You should research and look for parks in neighboring cities to see what they offer. 

Libraries are great options to do something different and enjoy reading books that you aren’t sure your children would love or not.  They also usually have activities planned for toddlers so be sure to check their calendar.  Setting a playdate can feel like you are getting a little help with parenting in those moments.  You have someone who has also decided to embrace the chaos of parenting!

Don’t be Afraid to Pivot the Plan

Parenting two kids under two means trying to navigate different emotions and different times.  This can be hard as you cannot give both of them your full attention at the same time.   Don’t be afraid to leave and try again on a different day if your little baby is struggling.  

Midday Mayhem with Two Kids Under Two

We were pretty adamant about being home for our toddler’s naps.  He struggled with sleeping in a car seat since he was born.  He just cannot get comfortable. We would also know that if we pushed his nap further in the day it lead to harder afternoons.  I don’t think as a parent it is fair to be upset with your son or daughter for something like a schedule change that they cannot control.  If you are going to keep your two under two out past their afternoon naps just be prepared and patient with them. 

Sleep schedules help them not just with the day, but also with how they sleep at night.   People will tell you to have your two adjust to your schedule, but have they handled an exhausted baby and a toddler?! You don’t know if your toddler will be silly, aggressive, or tearful.   Your baby may need to be held through babywearing and might need extra feedings due to over-exhaustion. It’s just not fun.  

Navigating Naptime and Lunch

For this reason, we try to plan lunch based on our first child.  He usually naps around 1 pm at daycare and during the weekends.  We may be able to push him to 2 pm on the weekends if it’s unavoidable.  We try to have lunch between 11:30 am – 12:30 pm so we can be home no later than 1:30 pm.  If we have friends or family who want to get together for meals we like to do breakfast or an early dinner around 4 pm.  Our goal is to have a good experience. We learned early on that this means sticking to what works for us knowing that it may look different for everyone else.  

Afternoon Activities

As a mom of two, we try not to plan big events in the late afternoon.  Our son usually wakes up around 3 pm or later.  We try to just play with the toys at home, possibly go on a walk around our neighborhood on a nice day, or go to an early dinner with friends/family.  Bedtime starts around 7 pm so there really isn’t that much day left. 

We can be out and about for the majority of the day especially in the summer and during vacations.  We use our Graco stroller which can turn into a bassinet to help with nap times.  This has been a lifeline for us! Our first and second baby have used it, even with him now being a toddler. I have included pictures and a link to the stroller!  

Tips and Tricks for Evening Routine with Two Kids Under Two

Dinner, Baths, and Bedtime

Dinner time during the week is around 6 pm, but during the weekend we strive to have it between 5 pm – 6 pm.  For dinners, we try to keep it simple for ourselves.  We usually do a vegetable, meat/pasta, and then whatever we want to put with the meal.  We love introducing our kids to different foods! So, we do strive not to have the same things each day.  Our son used a portable high chair and now our daughter uses it and loves it too.  This may be one of the best purchases! We have two so that we can keep one at home always and one that we can take with us while out.

Dinner Time

Meals go pretty smoothly for us unless our son is overly tired. These are the things we do to help meals go well:

• encourage food independence
• eat together as a family for breakfast
• allow our son to bring his animals to the table
• respect when they communicate being done
• repackage meals for on-the-go

Repackaging meals for the on-the-go has helped.  Our son loves to say he is done and then get in the car to head somewhere and ask for a snack.  By repacking the fruit or finger foods he can eat the breakfast we already made. It also sends the message that he can’t avoid his food for snacks.

Bathtime Chaos

Bathtime is not enjoyable right now for my husband. He wishes we would change the routine as it’s more chaotic and frustrating.  We currently have both our 1-year-old daughter and 2.5 year old son in the bath together.  This age gap does lead to different goals for each of them. 

Our son is in the phase of life where he wants to lay out, blow bubbles, and “swim” in the bath.   Our second wants to sit, and stand, and doesn’t know yet to hold her head to avoid getting soap in her eyes.  Yet, bathing them together reduces the time dramatically.  The smart advice would be just to change the routine and we eventually will but our routine works out “well enough” right now.

Our bathtime routine looks like this:

• Take them upstairs at 7 pm
• Start the bath water while they play in the hallway.
• My husband gets their pajamas ready.
• Get their clothes off and them into the bath.
• Manage the chaos while bathing one at a time (by my husband).
• I take baby number 2 out first.
• Dry her, moisturize her skin, and then put on her pajamas.
• Get my first out of the bath.
• Dry him, moisturize his skin, and put on his pajamas while my husband reads.
• Clean the bathroom and then give our two babies toothbrushes. 

Bedtime and One-on-One Time

This is probably the more comical part of our routine. This has changed several times, but right now my husband puts Harper to sleep and I lay down with Grayson.  I just cuddle with him until my husband sends me a text that he’s back in our room.  I then take Grayson to him. My husband takes him to the bathroom once or twice, they sing songs, and then my husband tells him goodnight.  From bathtime to bedtime it takes us about 1.5 hours.  On a good day, we are done in one hour.  

The Quiet After the Storm

After all of that, we are honestly exhausted! We now try to focus on each other, cleaning up the house a little bit, and dessert! We do not stay up late because there’s no guarantee that our daughter will sleep through the night.  She has been waking up in the middle of the night screaming bloody murder! It’s a horrible experience.  This started happening around 11 months old. 

The end of the day used to be stressful because of how much was left undone, but now we make a considerable effort to clean as we go.  I learned that I can’t hesitate to ask for help. It was better to express my feelings of guilt about the state of our home.  However, I made an effort to organize their toys and things time block out my schedule to reduce frustration.